I dragged myself out of bed, eyelids swollen shut and managed to stagger downstairs to sort breakfast out. I was even able to do the Joe Wicks workout again but I actually found it quite hard and Leo was still out of action.
School work went well and we were back on track after having a disturbed day the day before with Leo's hospital visit. He is doing better with his knee now. I think he just needed some reassurance from a professional and not just his mum. 😊
Part of the school work this week is talking about mental and emotional health. Leo and I read through the worksheets and then we had to create a Wishing Well. The idea is that you put the positives in the well and negatives on the outside, and you're supposed to dip into the well whenever you need it. It really helped to open up a conversation with Leo about how he was feeling. He struggles to verbalise a lot of things so this was great! We had a few tears and an interesting chat about what was bothering him.
I was so tired all day. I had a lie down in the garden at one point talking on the phone and I nearly fell asleep! Nothing to do with the company just could hardly keep my eyes open in the nice warm sun.
The boys built a den for their chill out time, which I knew I would be putting away again at the end of the day but it was nice for them.
I haven't heard much from my sister since she had all the kids back but my Mum did send me some photos over.
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| Owen and Jude |
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| Kamron and Jude |
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| Cherry and Jude |
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| Karmon, Chloe, Cherry and Jude x |
I really could have done with getting out for a walk or something but I was just so sleepy and I had done the Joe Wicks work out in the morning so didn't think I'd be up for going for a run. It's been a while since I had a jog but I can't really go during the "school" day and I haven't felt up to it in the evening. As the evenings are getting lighter though I might try and do that. It's better to go in the morning as it's cooler, hopefully quieter and I'm more inclined to do it then.
We finished slightly earlier than we have done on previous school days but I wasn't worried about it. We did the main bits of Maths, English and Spellings. I need to get them to do more reading but they are just too tempted with going outside and while the weather is nice I think it's good for them to get out and use up some energy. Ellis and I got the table tennis table out the garage too so we've all been having a go on that which has been fun.
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| This came up in my Google Pics 👬 |
A couple of Oscar's rugby team mates had birthdays so one of the mums had set up a zoom meeting for them. It was so cute and Oscar loved it. He came away from the chat buzzing 😊
The Lyrid meteor shower was supposed to be rather good during the evening so we agreed to let the boys stay up late to see if they could see any bright lights. Also some of the Starlink Satellites were going over too. We took blankets and pillows out to the trampoline and just looked up at the night sky for an hour. We were all snuggly and chatting about this and that and it was lovely. It was a very calming experience and the boys really enjoyed it. They also loved the very late night obviously. 😉
I got into bed at 11pm with Leo beside me and was asleep before my head hit the pillow. No tossing and turning, no stewing, analysing or over thinking. It was great and obviously no time for blogging, but that was fine with me as I think I needed a break.
Now I don't know if it was the calming effect of looking at the night sky or if it was just the fact that I had slept so well, but I did not want to get out of bed the following morning. Luckily Oscar slept in and I just thought we can start the day a bit later. I wasn't bothered about missing Joe Wicks either as I was hoping to go out for a jog later. It's been 4 days since I last went out! Time flies when you're having fun!
Oscar made his way downstairs and I stayed in bed a bit longer. Today I felt strange. The brain is a fascinating and complex piece of equipment and I'm slowly realising that sometimes you just don't have control over how it will make you feel on any given day. Most days I can't stop over thinking and fretting about anything and everything and I can't focus on one thing, but today I was on a bit of a shutdown. I felt so much calmer but when trying to make breakfast I just kept bursting into tears! I have no idea what I was crying about but it kept happening. It took me so long to prepare the 5 different breakfasts 😂
Partly I think my today brain was feeling a bit sad. It would have been my Nan's birthday today, I know someone who has recently lost their Mum, and I watched a clip on FB where someone was told on the phone, on one of those reality TV shows, that their Mum was very ill and wouldn't make it. I can't imagine how that must feel and I think I got upset for all the people that have or are experiencing that pain. Just gave me a bit of perspective and a kick up the ass. Then I get to speak to my Mum in the morning and I was feeling grateful and sad altogether. Sorry I realise that doesn't actually make a lot of sense as I've typed it but it makes perfect sense in my head. Extra virtual hugs to anyone grieving xxx 💕💕💕
Shauna had us on her schedule today so around 4pm we all went out on our bikes. I needed to go to Boots anyway so it worked out well. It was good to get the boys out too as they really haven't ventured far from the house in the last 5 weeks. Oscar struggled a little, probably due to late night and also hasn't been on a bike for a long time. It was good though.
While I was standing in Boots waiting to pay for a couple of drinks I was thinking that I miss the hustle and bustle of the shops. Then I was like, no I don't. Then I started thinking about all the other things that I think I'm missing, but actually I'm not. There were loads 😂 It is a funny, crazy, strange, weird, uncertain time and there are obviously lots of things that I am missing/need but also I just took stock of what I have, what I am enjoying, what I couldn't do without and all the other positives. I'm not saying I'll feel like that tomorrow, but for that moment it was great. 😄😂 See, funny brain.
We got back just as Shauna and Lucy were leaving. I think she had a good time and Lucy sent me a lovely picture of her, content and happy chilling in her garden.
I have eaten loads today! I've been doing really well with eating smaller meals and have lost a bit a weight over the last few weeks, but today I probably put half of it back on! 😂 Hope to be back in the zone again tomorrow as that could be a slippery slope. Think I just need to get back out for a run but the bloody Joe Wicks workout hurts my legs. 😄
Leo had his second online piano lesson tonight. I think it went well, will have to check in with Anita.
It's another late night again for me. I've done a two day blog though. I actually don't end up doing anything with my evenings apart from blogging and trying to get the boys to bed! I need to somehow do more during the day maybe but I'm usually preparing or clearing up from food, catching up with friends and social media or doing chores! It's so funny that at the beginning of the lockdown you have lists of stuff you want to do and I've hardly touched mine as we've settled into a new normal of doing things each day. I also tend to save nice things for when I really need them, but when I do, I can't chill enough to enjoy them! 😂 For example reading a book or watching a film.
Right so I'll bore you with all my Snapchat pictures that I pretty much do on a daily basis. Love a filter 😊
Part of Leo's work today was to do a positivity poster, which was supposed to contain 5 different positive things he could do but couldn't fit anymore on to one page so was sticking with 3. I don't know where he gets his stubbornness from! I especially like his added "Stay calm and play on!"💙
Even later now as I was scrolling through the news, which I really shouldn't do at bed time. Actually I'm getting to grips, slowly, with the fact that we won't be allowed out in the next few weeks and that this will be going on for a very long time. I suppose it's acceptance. I was obviously hopeful like everyone that after this 3 week extension that they would let us do a bit more, but realistically I don't think that is going to happen. I have to accept that I can't do anything about any of it and that I just need to keep my family safe and concentrate on the boys. I need to keep myself going in order for that to happen, so I need to make sure I make the most of my free time and not use it to scroll through social media. I'm still on chapter 18 of my book 😏 It won't be forever and I really want to look back at this time and be proud of how well I got through it 💪 and I don't mean by learning another language or sorting out my garage. 😀
Today I learnt that I am missing a lot less than I originally thought. I am looking forward to going on holiday at some point, and I am very, very grateful that I am not grieving the loss of anyone right now.
Stay safe everyone💙💙. We can do this 💩💪!
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